A Fake Interview
This fictional interview started with a Writer's Block question from LiveJournal: If you could interview any artist or band for Rolling Stone magazine, who would it be and why? So I wrote:
I looked through the archive of writer's blocks until I found one I thought would be interesting. I'd interview Lifehouse for Rolling Stone Magazine. I think it would be fun to interview them. I wonder if they ever get interviewed by big fans, or whether it would be weird. I mean I know fans submit questions. They have open interviews at acoustic sessions where a couple of fans ask one question each, but if a fan got to do a whole interview, I think that would be a dream. I wonder what questions I'd ask. It's hard enough choosing questions to ask them for their online "Q@A". I got one question answered. That was cool. But I wasn't talking to them in person. Hmmm. Becky once had an interaction thing on everythinglifehouse.com back when it was Jason Wade Online that said, if you could ask Jason one question, what would you ask? I think this was after the Q&A thing, so I didn't have to follow up with it, but my response was, "Jason, if you could ask me one question, what would you ask me?" So that would be one of my questions, obviously... I'd have to come up with some really creative, funny questions, and I'm also curious about the inspirations behind some specific songs that I really like. I'm tempted to write my interview questions now, but that's not what the writer's block is asking for. I bet I could also make up the answers, based on what I know. Except I have no idea how Jason would respond to the one question question. That's why I want to ask it.
A Fake InterviewMe: So, why haven't you guys gone to Europe?
Jason: Oh, we're still going to go. It's one of our favorite places. Hopefully this year we'll have a European tour.
Me: Yeah, but you said you'd go soon about 2 years ago.
Jason: Really? Did we really say that? Well, you know, things kept coming up. We promise we'll go this year.
Me: Right. Okay, then. Do you read my comic strip?
Bryce: Yeah, I love it!
Jason: I haven't seen it.
Me: Oh, I sent you some.
Jason: Oh, in one of those, oh, yeah - I remember those.
Me: So, how often do you get recognized when you're out in public:
Jason: Um, I dunno. You know at first it was weird and I had to get used to it when strangers would come up to be and be like "Oh, I love your new record," you know, but now I think it's kind of cool, and it happens a fair amount, I guess, so.
Me: Jason, if you could ask me any question, what would you ask?
Jason: Oh, man. Um, I'll have to think about this. Okay, when you're in line for a concert, you know, well first of all, how early do you get there?
Me: Mm, it depends. Usually around 2 PM for an evening concert I guess. And I know where this is going. I listened to your other interview. I even answered your question in a blog.
Jason: You know what I was going to ask next?
Me: Yeah. How do we go to the bathroom, right?
Bryce: Evidently, that's not what he was going to say, but I'm curious about it.
Me: We hold each other's places in line.
Me: And you asked if we wore diapers! Haha.
Jason: You know, Rick hasn't said a word this whole time.
Rick: I'm eating!
Jason: Oh, sorry.
Me: So, Jason, I wanted to ask you about what inspired you to write some of my favorite songs. What's the inspiration behind Signs of Life.
Jason: Well, that song I actually wrote in like half an hour, and I was just playing on the piano, I was playing with chord changes and that song came to me, and then I came up with the words after I had the melody.
Me: Well, what are the words about?
Jason: You know, I like to leave my music open to interpretation. I don't like to tell someone that a song means this when it can mean something else completely different to someone else, because then it just ties down-
Me: I know! I've heard your shpeal about this before. But what does the song mean to you?
Jason: Rick, what do you think?
Me: I'm not asking Rick! I'm asking you, Jason!
Jason: Well, you know I can't answer that for you because YOU don't know what the song is about, and in this interview, I can't tell you anything that you don't already know.
Me: Well, then what's the point?
Jason: YOU called ME in for this!
So in the end Jason and I ended up in a yelling fit, and I started hitting him, and security came to take me away. I guess that's why fans don't generally do interviews, huh?
A note about this: I wrote this before Bryce told me that he likes my cartoons. I guess my foresight is pretty accurate.